Little Boop #25: Grudges

Of all the times I have been sexually assaulted, there is only one person that I still haven’t forgiven. Is that not crazy? I should unpack why that time was so much worse.

Little boop #14: girl dinner

Last night I cooked a whole meal and bought wine and just ate popcorn for dinner. Shaking my head.

What is ADHD?

After a few sessions of therapy I was told to go get tested. The results didn’t take long long to get back. I was diagnosed with ADHD combined type and they wanted to do further testing for anxiety and depression. I did the further testing, and the results showed social anxiety. Depression was job induced and I no longer work at that job. From that moment on I went on a deep dive to get an understanding. ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hypertension Disorder. There is three major types you can be catorgerized as when being tested. Those types re impulsive/hyperactive,  inattentive/distractibility and combined. The testing for ADHD is geared toward children. The myth is that is more common in boys. Some studies say that girls go up to 75% undiagnosed/misdiagnosed. Now what we are seeing is these same women taking in their children to get tested, and finding out that ADHD is hereditary. Learning as an adult that the obstacles for themselves were a little bit different from the majority. This information is what prompted me to start the blog. If it is that limited for adults, and even more limited for women, you can only imagine the lack of information there’s for black women. When you search ADHD, you get a list of symptoms. That is probably the easiest way to identify, but it does not break down the why. ADHD comes from having regulatory issues in the brain. Some doctors says that it is because there is more gray matter in the brain. Others say that there is something going on with the amygdala. However you want to look at it, the commonality is dopamine. We are chasing the dopamine. Let’s get into some of the symptoms. -involuntary focus -emotional regulation -managing action -stress intolerance -lack of working memory Executive functioning is one of the main areas that most of the symptoms revolve around. As I continue to learn more, I will keep telling you all.

Little boop #8: damn you vivian

I’m laying across my bed. Should be at work, but Vivian is kicking my ass. I sent in a request to schedule an appointment with the doctor. I am currently trying to figure out what is going on in my uterus. I found out it was covered in my insurance, so I thought it would be a good idea to check it out.>After my first appointment, I told my mama and she told me some things I had never known. She said fibroids are common for women on her side of the family. I’m just know knowing this. Now I’m freaking out.